Exasperated

Having a ‘meticulous’ eyed SV can also be sooo ‘tiring’ and frustrating. As of today, I am exasperated with him. All this while he kept repeating the same thing over and over again, albeit in a different way. Sometimes it makes you feel ‘dumb’ and ‘numb’. At times, it is sooo annoying. At another time it does not make sense…not because I don’t understand what he’s saying, but it’s like he’s asking me to save the world or something…ahhh maybe I myself don’t make sense.

But today I just hammered through my POV, because I am stressed with the upcoming months’ plan and haven’t started doing any preparation for that…no one to blame except me and still, it makes me slightly impatient. I don’t need those pep talks of a ‘thesis is like building a bridge’. I know where the risk and danger lies. I am a government sponsored student not a self-sponsored rich brat on a vacation to gain knowledge.

And the thing about me is, I am always annoyed when people tell me the same thing more than 3 times at a time – my husband included and children excluded (well sometimes, included too). At any occasion or situation, first time to me is usually an advice, second time a reminder, third time is to hammer the advice down and from then onwards if you keep repeating them, it just makes me want to take out my ‘tanduk’ and charged someone (or perhaps the one that has been doing the talking) …sabar…sabar…
Maybe it’s just hormonal imbalance, my SV and me [or maybe it’s just me;-)]. He is a nice guy by the way and he does give good advice. But he loves to repeat them so much. It’s like a cover up or something for situations like ‘I haven’t been reading what you wrote, so I’ll just recycle what I said last time’ or for ‘not actually understanding what you are writing because I am not the content expert, but still I need to say something so I’ll just recycle what I said last time’. Penat tau! Is it bad to think that way? Yeah…but SVs are human beings too. They have their ups and downs and expertise = ‘ego’ to ‘protect’. So it’s likely that there are days they make sense and you don’t and there will be days when they don’t but you do. And I am waiting for the days, when we both make sense to one another, Insya Allah. 😉
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2 Responses to Exasperated

  1. Salmi says:

    I was in the same situation before with my old supervisor. Damn feel stupid and my motivation 'merudum giler2'! You know how Dutch people making critism? Rasa mcm dijajah pemikiran pun ada. Kdg sampai terfikir mamat nie Jewish ke apa? Alhamdulillah…Allah has listen to my prayer, finally I got a chance to change my supervisory after 8 mos been supervised by the Dutch professor with full of mental tortured. My current SV is super-duper meticulous but I'm happy with her because she's know what to advice and things to guide for a novice reseacher like me.Keep it your good work Fadz..take all these (up & down) as a learning process!

  2. Soooper Dooper Meticulous tu adalah torture gak…lemah betul lah. Kadang2 rasa cam nak nyorok jer..he..he..he

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